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How do I keep my mom from complaining about money?

Hey I have a problem I can use some input on. I am the sole caregiver for my mom who is disabled, basically I do everything for her from cooking to giving her a bath. We get along alright except for one thing Money!. We are not financially hard up by any ones definition I make about a thousand dollars a month doing custom woodworking and she has a good income from investments. She does all her SHOPPING via catalog and home shopping channels and gets whatever she wants. But if I spend any money at all even as much as buying a DVD or something she gives me a hard time about it saying I don't know how to manage money etc and she thinks that she buys the stuff I use for my woodworking even though I buy it out of a separate account and have shown her countless times where I have paid for it my self. I've tried to let her know it's not realistic or normal to expect me to go without the things I Want since I can't go to the movies or anything due to staying around for her. I have even given up on even thinking about dating because of the way she acts about money. So all I get to do is sit at home and take care of her. She says I shouldn't have to buy movies because we have cable tv and the same goes for computer or video games I should just watch and play the same ones over and over again forever. Clothes are another one of the things that gets her going I buy new clothes maybe once or twice a year and she thinks I can wear the same things forever even if I loose or gain weight. Help me figure out what to do I'm about to give up and let her go to a nursing home ( which I really don't want to do)

Public Comments

1. Be blunt with your mother tell her Straight out. I take care of you and help you like you raised me. I am an adult and if I wanna get a movie and shirt here and there it is none of your business and I work hard and I should be able to reward myself now and then. Tell her if she doesn't stop harping on the money you'll send her away see if it don't scare her. Plus she should respect you and tell her so tell her you are your own person you worry about the bills, and her well being you shouldn't have to worry about coming home to be yelled at for a innocent purchase.
2. Just sit down with your mother and politely discuss this money issue with her. Let her know that you love her and respect her and take heed to her comments about money. But let her know that you are a man. You have needs, and you carefully think about your needs before purchasing something. You will make some mistakes, but you will learn from them. Just ask her to respect you and let you live your life while you are taking care of her. She may be concerned about this economic crisis and just wants you to be careful with your spending habits. So let her know that you are aware of this and you are being careful and you need some space on this issue. Good luck.
3. Use some of your money to hire a part time caregiver for your mother and go out and get your own life! You can still be her primary caregiver, but by giving up all of your time, money, etc... you are only breeding resentment on your part and over-dependence on her part. It would be best for both of you if you had some time outside of the home. It would also be good for her if you could find someone close to her age so that she would have a "friend" while you are out.